Magical meltdown no response how to#

We might stay near them (when safe to do so): “I’m going to hang out here with you because I know this is a tough situation” We might express their feelings for them if they can’t: “It seems you feel pretty disappointed about that”, “You feel like this is really unfair” We might also say something which expresses care and concern: “I’m sorry you are feeling so cross”, “This is a tough situation” We might show care and concern on our face or in our tone of voice (children are often watching and hearing a tone of voice even more than the words we say). Here are some options (these are not “rules” – whether or not they are appropriate will depend on the parent and the child) for connecting with an angry child: This is called “connecting” with the child.

If we can help them feel supported and understood during that time then they sometimes become less angry. From their perspective, the world appears to be a scary and threatening place. When children are angry and upset, they are often anxious and overwhelmed. Connect with an angry child where possible There are no magic formulas – but here are some ideas some families find helpful about responding “mid meltdown” when kids are very angry or distressed.ġ. Instead, they learn these skills before and after frustrating situations, when both we as parents/caregivers - and children - have the time and state of mind required to talk and practice efficiently.īut what about that 5-10 minute (or much longer for some) period when children are really angry – if we can’t effectively coach them in that time - what SHOULD we do at that moment? How do we help and support them? Get through the situation safely? Get them to calm down? If you noticed my italics in these last two sentences, you’ll see that children do not normally learn these skills “in the heat of the moment” when they are angry or frustrated.

Magical meltdown no response how to#

If we want children to get better at these frustration management skills, we need to tell them why they matter and how to get better at them – and to do this when children are feeling calm. We also need to give children opportunities to practice these skills in low pressure situations. Identifying potentially frustrating situations ahead of time (and planning for them) Using calm sentences to remind themselves that frustrating situations and behaviours from others are not terrible, not always intentional, often understandable and can be managed. Noticing “angry” (blaming, non-empathic, catastrophic) thinking Switching attention away from difficult situations, Using appropriate language to express their feelings and desires One of the most powerful ways to help children act more calmly, more often – and to reduce angry behavior – is to coach them in developing frustration management skills.